33,267 reads by 21,304 people from 33 countries around our planet. That’s what you did.
Now here is what I have to do….
The term psychosomatic disorder is mainly used to mean … “a physical disease that is thought to be caused, or made worse, by mental factors”. Sounds Simple.Sounds Treatable. Well, in reality it isn’t. Then you add in extreme anxiety, Bi-Polar Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,Depression,Crohn’s Disease,Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and many other factors that are far too personal to get into on here(especially at the moment)..I have realized my time with my Beautiful Lisa Michelle is precious. There isn’t much quality of Life left in her. She fights as hard as she can. She has toughed out more Friday Nights with me than she wanted to…but that’s who she is..A tough hard-headed, huge hearted girl whom I met on the playground of Houston Elementary 33 years ago. Those Big blue eyes turned me into a man. I even sang “Count Me Out” by New Edition in my 6th grade Talent Show just to try to get her attention.
I didn’t know she was sick with something she could never defeat. All the Depakote and Lithium, Pain Killers, Mood stabilizers, anti-depressants in the world never did much for her. If they helped one thing, the side effects are so blistering cruel at some point you pick your poison.
I will never look at her as if she is giving up, as if she stopped fighting. She’s tired and exhausted Emotionally and Physically. She needs me,every spare moment. I need her also. She is my everything, she taught me so much about love and life and even in the state that she is in now..I learn something from her everyday.
Over the last 7 weeks she hasn’t really moved out of bed,a few times here and there. Lance Robinson’s Fried Fish got her out one Friday,lol. That was more than any doctor or medicine could EVER do.
She isn’t a huge football fan. She knows how much it means to me. She adopted my Spartanburg Vikings, My South Carolina Gamecocks and My Oakland Raiders. Any woman who will adopt the Raiders is a good woman, especially to me.
The last five years have been a steady decline for the most part.Some days she has a little more fight than others, some days she has zero fight. I don’t fault her for that.Our love has been Unconditional. We remind each other all the time of that word, Unconditional.
I’ve seen 354 SPARTANBURG GAMES IN A ROW…and probably a modest estimate of about 50 games prior to 1991..so I think I am right around 400 Viking Football Games. This week, When I see Dorman Vs Spartanburg it will be my 355th Viking game in a row…The harsh reality is my streak will more than likely end this Friday. The way things are falling out-of-place or maybe in place depending on which looking-glass you prefer..I just can’t keep up with a love of a game and the love of my life. It’s hard for me to sit my ass in the stands when my heart is lying in dark misery in a bed in our small apartment.
The thing about the psychosomatic pain is that it hurts her to talk. A ten min conversation causes extreme pain. A sing along with her favorite song, taking a bath, eating a decent meal can put her in so much pain..she cries. Until you have watched the love of your life cry while eating soup..you haven’t seen things like I have.
Even though Lisa is a fighter, I’m not sure that I am. She keeps pushing me to go on Friday Nights. She wants me to live. I often find myself asking myself,”Am I truly living if I’m sitting with an empty seat beside me?”
So this is not good bye..it is a Distant Early Warning..
“The world weighs on my shoulders
But what am I to do?
You sometimes drive me crazy
But I worry about you
I know it makes no difference
To what you’re going through
But I see the tip of the iceberg
And I worry about you”
So this isn’t a good-bye to anyone,especially my Lisa Michelle.Especially To THE SPARTANBURG HIGH SCHOOL VIKINGS..it is more of a thank you..
David Wilson, you sir are someone I will gladly call my best friend.What you have done for me at Times is everything that is right in the world.
Coach Chris Miller,Nate Harris,Jeff Woodall,Coach Love,Jeff Mahaffey,Coach Thomas,Scott Farmer and anyone else on the staff I might Have forgotten..I thank all of you for all your time and help, and most of all making our kids great young men. Job well Done!!
Todd Staley,Jeff Stevens,Sina Guffey..Thank You!
The Student Council,The Student Section and every kid that walks those halls..Thank You! (JUST GET LOUDER)
Dana Mason, I cannot thank you personally enough. You do such a great job at everything you do. You are hands down one of the most fantastic people I have ever met. Thank you for your hard work and your smile!!!
Jed Blackwell,Travis Jenkins,Jason Gilmer,Bret McCormick..Thank you! I hope one day to “rassle” all four of you over a fine bottle and a collection of vinyl (and yes Jason you bring Buffet or Phish,but not both)
The fans of Spartanburg or just South Carolina Football in General who read all these articles for the last two years..there is nothing to say but Thank you.!
And Last but not least Every Player who puts on that Gold Helmet.Every Cheerleader.Every Band Member and every parent of every one of these kids who put in the time, the long drives, the late hours to make sure your kids are on the right track..The words Thank You do you no justice…but just know you deserve a standing ovation every day of the week.
I have big dreams For SHS..I still want to launch THE VIKING RADIO NETWORK before the new school opens. I want to be able to broadcast anything we do whenever we want,however we want. Volleyball To Football. The Spartanburg High School Vikings should never be at anyone elses mercy. WE SHALL STAND ALONE. INDEPENDENT. UNCONDITIONAL. BLUE & GOLD Forever.
Even Though My Lisa is gonna try to come to this Fridays Game against Dorman, I’m a realist, so Joseph..I’ll save a spot for you.
Finally,I am not gone forever,I will Pop Up from Time to Time after this weeks game..just follow @JEDBLACKWELL on twitter for updates.
As Far as articles over the next couple of weeks..it’s easy.. Beat Dorman, Beat Boiling Springs and Beat Gaffney..there is nothing else I can say.
and if there is one more thing I can ask of our beloved Spartanburg Vikings Football Team,Coaches,Cheerleaders,Teachers,etc…
If you need another reason to win and I mean win them all..I know I ask a lot of all of you..but just one more favor.. DON’T DO IT FOR ME, DO IT FOR MY LISA.
A Farewell To Kings from the bottom of my Blue & Gold Heart
—YOUR BIGGEST FAN